Did i Tell you about .... Kundalini?

I had a kundalini awakening in 2020. Well it's still going...

And honestly this is the first time I've ever written about this

I was scared... ashamed... I thought I'd be outcasted like I felt in my younger years

For being shinny and bright

For my diffent views on life and new ways of living.

And so I suppressed my real feelings, opinions, desires - I did everything to become "normal".

I tried to fit in instead of belong.

I knew my thoughts my instincts were right but I trained them

and society trained them out of me too.

Trained to expect and accept less than I wanted, needed and craved the most.

I used to live in scarity and its so easy to fall in and out of. Taking out of need instead of want and saying yes because you logically think its right instead of knowing in your gut what is.

And I want to talk about Kundalini because this beautiful gift has given me life. Literally.

And I want to say it's natural. It is 100%

Others might think some of the symtoms are unholy or not real or just plain out strange. You cant force someone to live or belive your reality- because trust me there is many - even many that just live in your head!

SO i hid. Like I did for most of my life. Even to the point where I couldnt find me.

And even after my awkwening came fear- of letting go of the old way of exisiting and that led me down a whole other sprial I am honestly trying to crawl up from now.

man doing a yoga pose handstand on titled floors, with an archway in the background that opens up to clouds with the sun shining through giving the man a spotlight.

So lets talk.

I came into spirituality in 2017 , but I've always had a long standing relationship with faith and the Devine.

I loved churches-studying ethics. The big sky, trees, nature and being in joyful play.

I went to a United Church and that was a little different than catholic but still the Christian indoctrination of shamed guilt and demonizing your animalistic side of you came.

Schools force us alot to "be" someone instead of guiding us to "become" someone.

It wasn't until I really started to go after what I really wanted.

I wanted better.

I wanted my dreams not to be a fantasy.

I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings. I wanted to feel all the emotions I was told were too much, too sensitive, too inconvenient for others to handle. They weren't even the ones that were feeling them. (but they were triggering them to realize they suppressed their own - I learned later on)

So I had the feeling. I tapped into my emotions and started to feel. Even the pain even the joy even the discomfort and I decided I wanted better. I wanted to stop settling and saying it was "fine" , Im fine, I'm okay with being just okay.

Why live if its just going to be okay? whats the point?

I always wanted to be an actress. I LOVED acting, movies, plays, dancing, music. Anything creative really made sense.

But the societal matrix was saying that I couldn't have my dreams and money at the same time.

It's enough of that because the more you feel joy, inspiration and desire the more money the more abundance in everything will come to you.

So I went to acting school with all the courage I had left and started to reeaaaallly feel my emotions. In front of others too which was incredibly hard .... and liberating.

It's this repatterining of your mind by witnessing your bodies stored emotions that triggered everything.

I started to tap in my BODY. not just fix the thinking. Yes that too but it was THE BODY

and I noticed I didn't like what I was eating

I had a major celiac allergy my whole life and had gas light myself out of it.

It's these little lies, little stories little nonsense that keep us from our truth and seeing the real story.

It really was this cleaning up of my diet that changed my energy.

All those stored emotions felt. New food that my body ACTUALLY wanted.

I used to drink 4 cups of coffee at school. It was a conservatory so 5 days a week 10 hour days and homework

After I stopped eating my allergies.

I drank none. Maybe a green tea in the afternoon cause I like it.

Pretty soon the pandemic hit and all i wanted was a break

AND I GAVE MYSELF ONE

I started to really tap into my joy, my bliss, my Spirituality

My energy changed so drastically so I had access to higher states. Better frequency to connect to the Devine.

People talk so much about their energy and it seriously matters, but they don't talk about how much your diet, your quitting of the mind, the feeling and the letting go required. It's a lifestyle. And ITS SO SO WORTH IT.

But it takes time.

I started working out, I did alot of chi gong which is alot of energy attunment work.

Meditation and breathing and yoga!

GRATITUDE LISTS

walking and connecting to nature

Pretty soon I was feeling so much but was my inner cirtic, my pressurizing thoughts had me stressed looking for something to do. Something fulfilling and in purpose

I was a major perfectionist

I have a Capricorn moon

I demand a lot 🤷‍♀️

I had a melt down.

And my mom - whom I was living with at the time randomly in the middle of it suggested I go reiki course at our yoga studio

And oh ya poof that was easy

YES IM IN. SIGN ME UP.

AND thats when my spiritual life became SO SO SO much more......

Stay tuned for what's next.